


What's It To You?

by Denois



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Nursey POV, background other characters, excessive poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denois/pseuds/Denois
Summary: “What’s it to you?”“Thought you’d have figured it out by now.”Nursey didn't mean to sound so demanding when he asked the question, but Dex avoided answering. Or had he been answering all along?
Relationships: Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter
Comments: 32
Kudos: 204





	What's It To You?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to me. 
> 
> Thank you to [Draskireis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/draskireis) for the beta read through.
> 
> Inspired by [What's It To You](https://youtu.be/Zr-yzFDP-uM) which is on my NurseyDex playlist, and a whole lot of love poems.

“So, yeah. That’s what I’d say.” Nursey raised his eyebrows at Louis with a shrug and punctuated his statement with a bite of french toast.

Dex’s snort beside him reminded him that his line partner was back to sitting beside him at team breakfast. 

“Chill? You disagree?”

Dex finally looked up from the last of his eggs to meet Nursey’s eyes. “Ayuh. You’re wrong.”

Nursey snorted in reply. “What’s it to you?”

He didn’t really mean for the question to come out so harsh, but Dex really wasn’t the subject matter expert here. 

On the other hand, Dex just kept meeting his gaze with no change in expression. “Thought you’d have figured it out by now.” 

And then Dex stood up and swung his backpack over a shoulder before disappearing with his tray. 

Nursey rolled his eyes and turned back towards the Waffles, only to see them all packing up as well. “Heading out already?”

Bully nodded towards the window behind Nursey. “Started snowing. Want to get to class before it gets bad.”

Shoulders slumping, he turned and looked out the window. Just like Bully had said, fat flakes were falling past. “Chill.”

It was fine. It was. It’s not like he didn’t know how to deal with snow. He just hadn’t expected snow today, so he hadn’t grabbed enough layers. It was going to melt in his hair and in his clothes and he was going to be damp all day. He hated that.

He turned back and shoved the last of his french toast into his mouth. Maybe he could do like the Waffles were trying and get to class before it was too bad. He didn’t have enough time to get back to the Haus, it was his only hope.

When he reached down for his bag, he froze. Laying across the top was one of Dex’s jackets and a flannel. He picked them up and started layering them on, to find a hat, scarf and gloves tucked into the top of his bag as well. 

Maybe he wouldn’t be damp and uncomfortable all day after all.

* * *

> How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
>  I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
>  My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
>  For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
>  I love thee to the level of every day’s  
>  Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
>  I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
>  I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.  
>  I love thee with the passion put to use  
>  In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.  
>  I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
>  With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,  
>  Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,  
>  I shall but love thee better after death.

* * *

Nursey burrowed his nose in the scarf and flannel as he walked across campus to his first class. He’d never managed to pin down exactly what Dex’s flannels smelled liked, other than something warm and comforting. Like home. Which was unfortunate, because he’d never been able to replicate it on his own clothes. And stealing your linemate’s laundry was largely frowned upon in the Haus. 

Especially when he couldn’t exactly tell said liney why he wanted to borrow the clothes in the first place. He snapped a quick selfie while walking with the snow falling around him and sent it to Dex with his thanks. Then he hurried into the English building. 

He managed to make it to class on time, but just barely, so he pulled out his laptop while everyone finished getting settled. His laptop was booting up, so he looked back in his bag for his notebook (in case he wanted to write down some notes longhand, or worked out an especially good line of poetry), noticing that Dex had returned a book that he’d borrowed as well. There were little flags of post-it notes extruding from the pages and Nursey smiled. He’d have to check what Dex had marked when he had some down time later in the day.

* * *

> To clasp you now and feel your head close-pressed,  
>  Scented and warm against my beating breast;  
>    
>  To whisper soft and quivering your name,  
>  And drink the passion burning in your frame;  
>    
>  To lie at full length, taut, with cheek to cheek,  
>  And tease your mouth with kisses till you speak  
>    
>  Love words, mad words, dream words, sweet senseless words,  
>  Melodious like notes of mating birds;  
>    
>  To hear you ask if I shall love always,  
>  And myself answer: Till the end of days;  
>    
>  To feel your easeful sigh of happiness  
>  When on your trembling lips I murmur: Yes;  
>    
>  It is so sweet. We know it is not true.  
>  What matters it? The night must shed her dew.  
>    
>  We know it is not true, but it is sweet--  
>  The poem with this music is complete.

* * *

After African American Literature in the Archives, he had twenty minutes to get to Literature of the Black South. The good news was that he didn’t have to leave the building, it was just down the hall a bit. He didn’t even need to get bundled back up - but he put Dex’s flannel back on anyway. 

It also meant that he had a good period of time to kill while waiting between classes. Not enough to really work on his homework for other classes, but enough to check group chats and exchange a few chirps.

> Dexalicious: Yep.

Nursey frowned at his phone. That wasn’t a proper response. It was also sent just before their first classes started, so maybe he could give Dex the benefit of the doubt.

He was glad that he had a couple of minutes later when his phone vibrated with a new message from Dex. There was an image of a bunch of geese crowded on a bridge over the river and honking at someone who was stupid enough to approach them. It was followed immediately by a text.

> Dexalicious: They didn’t check the forecast either.

He smiled as he typed his reply.

> Nurse: silly geese.

There was no delay before the three dots appeared indicating Dex was responding, and they only lasted a second.

> Dexalicious: Yep.

Nursey could almost hear the accompanying eyeroll from across campus and he grinned as he looked at the picture again. He hoped Dex helped the poor hapless student who got too close. They really should have learned by now that the geese on campus have the right of way. Dex was the only one he’d ever seen them allow to pass without aggression and when he’d asked Dex how he’d managed it, Dex had just said that he’d asked politely. Nursey still didn’t know what the trick was, so he’d avoided the geese since Freshman year, like any smart Wellie.

* * *

> O my Luve is like a red, red rose  
>  That’s newly sprung in June;  
>  O my Luve is like the melody  
>  That’s sweetly played in tune.  
>    
>  So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,  
>  So deep in luve am I;  
>  And I will luve thee still, my dear,  
>  Till a’ the seas gang dry.  
>    
>  Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,  
>  And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;  
>  I will love thee still, my dear,  
>  While the sands o’ life shall run.  
>    
>  And fare thee weel, my only luve!  
>  And fare thee weel awhile!  
>  And I will come again, my luve,  
>  Though it were ten thousand mile.

* * *

All of his classes this term were in the English Building. All of his classes from now on were going to be in the English Building. He’d fully hit the part of his degree plan that had prompted his advisor to say “Derek, I know you love English, but why do you hate yourself?” Which was funny, but untrue. He didn’t hate himself. Samwell just offered too many courses relevant to his interests.

But having all his classes in the English Building did give him an excuse to avoid Founders and the bad reputation the hockey team had built over there. Instead he liked to spend the downtime between Literature of the Black South and Introduction to Poetry Writing in the English department library where he could avoid most of the dirty looks from staff or other students. Plus, he’d found a really comfortable set of chairs in a back corner that were almost always available, probably due to the lack of natural light in that area and the fact there wasn’t a study table. It was the perfect place to do his readings for his Tuesday-Thursday Shakespeare and Marlowe class. 

He had an alarm set on his phone to make sure he got to class on time, so he allowed himself to get immersed in the reading. Which meant he had no idea how much time had passed when he heard someone sit in the other chair and set things on the little end table between them. He finished reading the sentence before tucking a bookmark in and looking up at Dex. 

Dex had already set a boba tea and fresh (reusable) bottle of water on the side table between the chairs, so Nursey grabbed the boba tea and took a big slurp. 

“Mm. Matcha.” 

“Ayuh. Said they saved some back for you after they ran out last time.” Dex pulled a paper bag out of his backpack and held it out to Nursey. “Shawarma wraps and falafel today.”

“Chill.” Nursey took the bag and opened it up, sticking his nose in to see exactly what Dex had gotten. He immediately looked back up. “Where’s yours?”

By this point, Dex had his backpack closed again and was shifting forward to stand up. “Actually, I have a meeting with my Comp Vis professor before class. See you at conditioning.”

“Dex.”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you bring me food if you weren’t going to stay and hang out?”

Dex blinked at him silently for a moment. “You always forget to eat on Mondays and Wednesdays. Your stomach ends up growling in conditioning.”

“Chill. So?”

Dex heaved his bag onto his back and raised his eyebrows. “So, it distracts Tango from spotting Whiskey.”

Then he was gone, leaving Nursey staring after him. 

Nursey wasn’t sure what all classes Dex was taking this semester; he was kind of vague any time it was brought up. But he had thought that Dex probably found him to have lunch just because Dex was in the area and was going to be eating lunch about that time anyway. Eating in the English library with Nursey let him avoid the dirty looks from other Wellies also. But he probably could have holed up in the Science or Engineering libraries just as easily if his classes were all on that side of campus anyway. It didn’t make sense that Dex had come all the way over just to drop off food for Nursey. Being a little hungry wouldn’t have killed him.

* * *

> Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?  
>  Thou art more lovely and more temperate.  
>  Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
>  And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.  
>  Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,  
>  And often is his gold complexion dimmed;  
>  And every fair from fair sometime declines,  
>  By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;  
>  But thy eternal summer shall not fade,  
>  Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,  
>  Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,  
>  When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st.  
>  So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,  
>  So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

* * *

Knowing that Dex had Comp Vis before conditioning, Nursey didn’t expect to see him until practice started in the weight room at Faber. So, he was pleasantly surprised when Dex caught up to him walking across North Quad and bumped their shoulders together. Dex had already almost finished peeling a clementine and was just removing the extra pith, so when he held out a piece, Nursey took it and popped it into his mouth automatically. 

“Always easy peel cuties with you.”

“Scurvy’s terrible.”

“Trick you picked up living the pirate life on a boat, then?”

“Ayuh. Navel oranges are right out.”

Nursey nodded as Dex handed him another segment. He couldn’t help but notice that Dex didn’t eat any of the pieces himself, just solely doled them over to Nursey as they walked. 

Unfortunately, watching Dex to see if he ate any citrus meant that Nursey wasn’t watching where he was walking. Which totally would have been fine, definitely, except that it had been snowing, which meant the walks were still a bit slippery even though the school had tried to keep up with plowing and salting. That was his excuse for why he ended up flat on his back and staring up at the sky, anyway. His hands were stinging from trying to catch himself and he sighed while waiting for Dex to start laughing.

Instead, Dex appeared above him.

“Are you hurt?”

“Chill. Just scraped my hands a bit this time.”

Dex nodded and helped him sit up, then handed him the remainder of the clementine before turning to his backpack again. Nursey had time to shove two segments into his mouth at the same time -he deserved two at once because of the fall- before Dex straightened back up with a small plastic box. Then Dex took Nursey’s hands, one at a time so he could still hold the clementine, and wiped them off with a wet wipe, before disinfecting with a small bottle of iodine adding a dab of antibiotic ointment where the skin was broken. He finished it off with a couple of colorful bandages before packing everything back up.

“Those probably won’t stick good on your hands. Should probably have the trainers bandage you for real.” 

Nursey nodded and slowly looked away from Dex and back down to the bandages. _Do thou amend thy face and I’ll amend my life. Thy wit’s as thick as Tewksbury mustard._ Both from Henry IV. Not his favorite of Billy Shakes’s plays, but good insults still.

* * *

> It’s neither red  
>  nor sweet.  
>  It doesn’t melt  
>  or turn over,  
>  break or harden,  
>  so it can’t feel  
>  pain,  
>  yearning,  
>  regret.  
>    
>  It doesn’t have  
>  a tip to spin on,  
>  it isn’t even  
>  shapely--  
>  just a thick clutch  
>  of muscle,  
>  lopsided,  
>  mute. Still,  
>  I feel it inside  
>  its cage sounding  
>  a dull tattoo:  
>  _I want, I want_ \--  
>    
>  but I can’t open it:  
>  there’s no key.  
>  I can’t wear it  
>  on my sleeve,  
>  or tell you from  
>  the bottom of it  
>  how I feel. Here,  
>  it’s all yours, now--  
>  but you’ll have  
>  to take me,  
>  too.

* * *

They were usually the last two out of the kitchen after dinner. Bitty would disappear to skype with Jack. Ollie and Wicks were hit or miss on if they even appeared to eat with the others. They would wave off Chowder that it was fine for him to go start on his homework so that he could be available if his parents called when they got home in California. The time zones were the hardest on Chowder. 

It wasn’t too bad; the Haus had a dishwasher and Dex kept it in good working order. Between the two of them, clean up and washing the things that weren’t dishwasher safe was usually pretty quick. Quicker than he wanted, if he was honest. After clean up, Dex would go down to his bungalow and Nursey would go up to his room, unless they had planned a Frog Movie Night, but that was usually on Fridays. 

“Don’t forget to set your alarm for early practice. Night, Nurse.”

Nursey looked up at Dex’s statement. Dex wasn’t looking at him, just hanging up the towel that they’d used to dry dishes before heading out of the kitchen. But it reminded him of that morning.

> ”What is love?” Louis had asked.
> 
> Nursey had resisted the urge to reply with “baby don’t hurt me", though he was pretty sure he heard Tango mutter it under his breath. Instead he’d described it, how it made him feel, what poets had said about it for centuries, in grand and flowerly language.
> 
> Then Dex had snorted and disagreed.
> 
> “What’s it to you?”
> 
> “Thought you’d have figured it out by now.”

”Oh. So that’s it.”

His face relaxed and softened with the realization as he watched Dex walking towards the hall.

Dex stopped and turned with a questioning look.

“That’s what love is to you.”

Dex pressed his lips together briefly. “Love is a place & through this place of love move (with brightness of peace) all places.”

Nursey shook his head. “No.”

Dex tilted his head slightly. “Love is a fire that burns unseen, a wound that aches yet isn’t felt, an always discontent contentment, a pain that rages without hurting, a longing for nothing but to long, a loneliness in the midst of people, a never feeling pleased when pleased, a passion that gains when lost in thought. It’s being enslaved of your own free will; it’s counting your defeat a victory; it’s staying loyal to your killer.”

He shook his head again. “No.”

Dex held Nursey’s gaze, unflinching but open and plain. “Love is a poem.”

At that, Nursey shrugged. Love could be a poem, but if it was a poem, it wasn’t those. Not for Dex. “There is a kind of love called maintenance Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it Which checks the insurance, and doesn’t forget The milkman; which remembers to plant bulbs; Which answers letters; which knows the way The money goes; which deals with dentists And Road Fund Tax and meeting trains, And postcards to the lonely; which upholds The permanently rickety elaborate Structures of living, which is Atlas. And maintenance is the sensible side of love, Which knows what time and weather are doing To my brickwork; insulates my faulty wiring; Laughs at my dryrotten jokes; remembers My need for gloss and grouting; which keeps My suspect edifice upright in air, As Atlas did the sky.”

Dex didn’t move, didn’t try to deny the question that hung in the air. “Love is a poem. You are a poet.”

“Love is work and you are the hardest worker I know.” 

A small smile twitched at the corner of Dex’s mouth and Nursey closed the distance between them.

“Can I study with you?”

“We have early practice in the morning.”

“You’ve set an alarm.”

The smile took over Dex’s lips, Nursey paused only briefly to feel Dex’s hands on his hips before his lips took over the smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Shout at me on tumblrs at [SexyDexyNurse](https://sexydexynurse.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Poems featured in this fic are:  
> [Sonnet 43](http://www.tri-village.k12.oh.us/Downloads/Eng9BB2.pdf) by Elizabeth Barrett Browning  
> [Romance](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44696/romance-56d223e439819) by Claude McKay  
> [A Red, Red Rose](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43812/a-red-red-rose) by Robert Burns  
> [Sonnet 18](https://poets.org/poem/shall-i-compare-thee-summers-day-sonnet-18) by William Shakespeare  
> [Heart to Heart](https://poets.org/poem/heart-heart) by Rita Dove  
> Part of [Love Is A Place](https://poetrysociety.org/poetry-in-motion/love-is-a-place) by e e cummings  
> Part of [Love Is A Fire That Burns Unseen](https://www.poetryinternational.org/pi/poem/8436/auto/0/0/Luis-Vaz-de-Camoes/Love-is-a-fire-that-burns-unseen/en/tile) by Luís Vaz de Camões as translated by Richard Zenith.  
> [Atlas](https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/atlas-3zpv8pqvv) by U.A. Fanthorpe


End file.
